Life moves on

Life moves on
As if it doesn’t matter
How many people have died in the terrible war

Life moves on
As if it doesn’t matter
Some family has lost their loved one

Life moves on
As if it is OK
To kill human beings with bombs, with new technology weapons

Life moves on
As if there are no pains, no sufferings
No memories of the past

Life moves on
As if it will never end

Stormy night

For the rest of my life I would not forget that morning when I came downstairs and found you fallen on the bathroom floor. It seemed like you had exhausted all your energy and could not stand on your feet when I picked you up. I remembered that you said to me “I want to lie down”. I had to carry you to the living room and let you rest on the couch. If I had known what was happening to you then, I would have called 911 immediately instead of trying to make you some ginger tea. I might have saved your life! When you were in my arms and had trouble breathing, I wished I could share your pain. Why couldn’t I? We shared everything together in life in the past 32 years, why couldn’t we share our death?

Last night there was a rainy storm with high wind hauling over the roof. I lied in bed thinking of all the recent pains you had to suffer physically with your body and mentally with the loss of your parents. I wished I should have tried to comfort you more then. Suddenly I felt a storm rising in my heart and tears rolling down from my eyes…

November 16, 2006

China Town

There were too many memories of you whenever I came down to China town. Every street I took, every corner I turned I remembered your image vividly. Now I realized that I had to do all things that we used to do together alone, by myself. There was no longer that happiness of sharing the joy of being and doing. For now, it was merely being and doing and that was all. I knew that I had to learn to live without you but somehow sadness seemed not to go away easily.

November 3, 2006

A Fallen Tree

The other day there was a strong storm with high wind that broke one of the trees in the back of our yard. A large portion of the tree fell on the back porch of the corner neighbor. Luckily it didn’t damage anyone or anything except some plants near the fence. The neighbor was the friendly lawyer who liked gardening. He wasn’t angry and didn’t complaint about the accident. Instead he asked for the name of the tree trimmer that we had him done work before. He even said “ By the way I am sorry about the passing of your wife…”. I told him I would call the man myself for tree removal since I wanted the trees trimmed back, especially along Lena’s house. I knew we wanted to do this for some time.
Mr. Hicky, the tree man, was nice enough to come the next day to clean up the mess in the neighbor’s yard. He finally ended up cut down one sick tree in the back and trimmed quite a bit the rest of the trees. You would probably be happy to see the state of the trees now, especially with a lot sun shining through our backyard.
And tonight it just happened that a bright full moon was hanging beautifully between the trees in the back in the clear blue sky. Looking at the moon, I just saw your beautiful smiling face…

November 3, 2006