Stormy night

For the rest of my life I would not forget that morning when I came downstairs and found you fallen on the bathroom floor. It seemed like you had exhausted all your energy and could not stand on your feet when I picked you up. I remembered that you said to me “I want to lie down”. I had to carry you to the living room and let you rest on the couch. If I had known what was happening to you then, I would have called 911 immediately instead of trying to make you some ginger tea. I might have saved your life! When you were in my arms and had trouble breathing, I wished I could share your pain. Why couldn’t I? We shared everything together in life in the past 32 years, why couldn’t we share our death?

Last night there was a rainy storm with high wind hauling over the roof. I lied in bed thinking of all the recent pains you had to suffer physically with your body and mentally with the loss of your parents. I wished I should have tried to comfort you more then. Suddenly I felt a storm rising in my heart and tears rolling down from my eyes…

November 16, 2006